A black and white gif of a dog wearing a space suit. It is smiling and wagging its tail.

AUGUST 2023...

PMD Pachirisu Sprite. Tired mood.

August 31st, 2023

Hello again! I hope that you are doing well! I'm feeling okay today. The weather is really calm and sunny... And the sky is a really vibrant, deep blue. It's a little chilly out, but it's very nice! I've also been craving pizza since LAST NIGHT. Hahah! Although I don't really want to spend anymore money on food this month... Hmm... Also, I'm going to try to draw more fully shaded/rendered pieces, since I've gotten out of the habit recently. :( I've just been doing doodles... Oh! And hopefully I can set up my art gallery on this site (again) sometime soon as well! I will be working on it! I'll see you around! Thank you so much for reading and have a great day! BYE!

PMD Pachirisu Sprite. Shouting mood.

August 24th, 2023

Ahh, okay... Things are starting to look up again... I'm very tired this morning. It was storming really hard all night and it looks like it's probably going to be raining all day today and tomorrow as well. I'm going to start seeing a therapist regularly again... And get back on meds (I had to stop because my previous ones were not compatible with my chronic illness). I don't have much to say this time, but I think things are slowly getting better. Yay!

PMD Pachirisu Sprite. Worried mood.

August 13th, 2023

This is seriously not my month, is it? I don't want to spend too much time going on about negative stuff again. So, I'll just say that I'm still not doing well. I hope you're having a better August than I am! Whew... I'll see you around! Peace!

PMD Pachirisu Sprite. Teary mood.

August 8th, 2023

Still sad today, although I don't have much to say about it. Maybe that's for the best... I went for a walk and listened to my favorite music. When I got back, I sat in the grass and watched the sun set. It casted this beautiful peach colored glow over everything. I feel a little better now, although I kept getting teary. I couldn't tell whether it was from the sadness or from being overwhelmed by how beautiful the view was.

PMD Pachirisu Sprite. Sad mood.

August 6th, 2023

Ugh, I feel so down today. Every once in a while, I'm reminded of how incredibly socially inept I am and it just bums me out so bad. I'm really sad to think that I will never be a "friendly" person, but I just want to be kind. As long as I am kind, I can live with being a recluse but it still feels extremely isolating and dehumanizing to be so incapable of normal social interactions. And to not know why. And whenever I get these feelings, I start isolating because I don't want to be weird and ruin the good relationships I have... Consequently ruining those relationships anyway by being uncommunicative.

It always feels like people are happier without me around. Gah, I know I shouldn't say that, but it's how I'm feeling right now at least. I can't help but feel a little envious of people who can communicate so easily and make people smile and laugh and be happy. I really desperately want to be that type of person too, but I end up messing up somehow. And it's been 22 years and I still don't know how to just be normal. Sigh. Sorry I don't have better news today. Maybe one day I can get better at this. Anyway! I hope you're having a good weekend! See you later!


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