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July 2025

May 2025

March 2025

Pompompurin emoticon. Sad.

Moving On

posted: july 4th, 2025 (08:00pm)
mood: discouraged

Hi! LOL! I know I'm back a bit soon, but I wanted to give you an update! I wasn't chosen for the apprenticeship, but I am still very grateful that I got the opportunity to meet people in the field and to learn more about the whole process! It is disappointing, of course, but it's okay. Like I said before, all I can do is give my best effort and if it's meant to work out, it will. If it isn't, it won't. And it didn't work out this time, but this is probably a good thing despite how I feel about it emotionally.

The whole experience has got me reflecting a lot, though. I don't want to lie and say that it isn't bothering me. But I am still trying to make the conscious decision to be optimistic about it! To be completely transparent, as I began going through the whole process, I began to realize that I had great deficits in areas that would hinder my ability to work in this field. And, as a result, I ended up embarrassing myself repeatedly, hahaha! That's often the nature of trying new things, though! Some family members expressed doubt in my ability to do something like this. I wanted to prove that I could do it, but in the end, I couldn't. LOL! But that leads me to my main point, the point that I've been thinking about over the course of the past month or two.

I keep falling into this habit of wanting to do things simply to make people proud of me. I did this when looking at colleges and when flip-flopping between what careers I wanted to pursue. But I've always really struggled with identifying what I want. I want people to be proud to be related to me or to know me and etc, etc. So much so that I don't even know what I want anymore. I have a need to prove that I am good and worth keeping around. LOL! Not trying to sound dramatic. Just being honest. Maybe someone else feels the same way. But, welding is interesting and I really admire it, but is it what I want for me? I have another opportunity that I can apply for later in the year, but. You know. How do you know when to keep clinging to something and when to let go? I guess, my answer is: How badly do you want it? Is your heart in it? I think your passion will speak for itself, in these cases. When you're truly passionate about something, you will endure failure over and over until it works. And that has been bothering me more than the failure of it. Not knowing what it is that I am that passionate about. It's okay, though. I feel confident that I will figure it out someday.


Pompompurin emoticon. Shocked.

Art Fight!

posted: july 2nd, 2025 (11:00pm)
mood: moody

Happy Art Fight to those who celebrate! Hopefully June treated you well! Seems as though checking in every other month is becoming a bit of a pattern for me. HAHAHA. Let's see if I can break the habit in August...

This July is my first year participating in Art Fight!! ^_^ I'm super excited and already having a lot of fun so far! I've wanted to join in for multiple years, but I've always been too shy to actually go through with it. Now that I'm trying it, I'm super glad that I did! I love seeing and reading about everyone's OCs! I'm a little overwhelmed because there's so many that I want to draw... That brings me to my other point. I'm learning that I work pitifully slow!!! T_T LOLL!!! I've seen multiple people post five or SIX attacks in one day, but I just finished my ONE, singular attack just an hour or so ago... HAHAH. I already have a lot of catching up to do! But I like it this way, it's super fun! ^_^ I'm prioritizing revenges FIRST before I move on to anything else! If you're also participating (or even if you're just spectating this year), feel free to check out my profile!!! I'd love to see your characters too!